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My Inaugural Trip!
I graduated flight attendant training at the beginning of May, but I was not required to work until June 1st. I chose not to let my airline assign me trips, and instead to choose my own trips. I was allowed to pick up two total trips for the month of May.
I decided I’d really like to pick up a special dreamy trip. I hoped for two things: 1) To go someplace dreamy and cool. 2) To see some friends.
Y’all, I hit the jackpot when I got both! On the day of graduation, I went into the app that is used for trip assignments and I picked up a trip to Kona. It was a 6 hour flight to Kona, a 24 hour layover, and then a 6 hour flight back.
SEA -> KOA -> SEA
Flight attendants dream of 24 hours + in good locations! I was stoked.
Then I went to social media and asked if any friends lived in Kona and if they might like to see me. My friend John said he’d love to see me.
John and I met 21 years ago in Townsville, Australia. We did hang out a good amount there, but I haven’t seen him in 21 years, and we’ve only been in touch via social media. I reached out to him to make plans and then….
THEN John said he’d TAKE ME FOR A HIKE!
What??? I couldn’t have asked for anything better! Dreamy location + friends + an outdoor activity?????
So, the trip came, I anxiously introduced myself to my crew. They were all friendly and kind and helpful. The passengers were all super happy to be going to Hawaii, and no major problems occurred on the flight over.
The next afternoon, John came and got me at my hotel. John lives 90 minutes from my resort. How kind of him to be willing to come see me! It was great catching up with him. I remember getting along with him when we were teenagers in Australia with the exception of one time that I stepped on some coral that he was collecting, but as we chatted, I was able to recognize what a thoughtful and kind human he is. He took me on a hike over lava fields to beautiful nearly-empty white sand beaches. We saw a sea turtle out swimming, dolphins, and goats. We swam, we ate fresh lychee, and we chatted. It was wonderful!
John dropped me back of at the hotel where I napped and ate dinner to prepare for a red-eye flight back home.
Again, other than a few grumbles because red-eye flights are hard, the passengers were easy to deal with, my crew continued to be pleasant, and the flight back home went fantastically. I also learned more from my crew about things to do near the resort in Kona, so that I’ll be ready the next time I go back!
This was the perfect trip to start off my new career, and I’m so grateful I got to go!
A HUGE thanks to John and his partner Heidi (who I didn’t get to meet this time, but who sent some treats for us). There have been many times when I’ve thought I should get rid of social media, but what keeps me holding on is the connection to friends from far away. +1 for Facebook this time!
Seriously, friends, make sure I know where you live so that I can see you the next time I’m in town!
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My First Trip
Yesterday I completed what is called an “Operating Experience” with my airline. An Operating Experience is when you get on the plane and pretend to be a flight attendant, but there are real flight attendants there telling you what to do and when.
That last part…the “what to do and when” part is the terrifying part.
I graduate from flight attendant training tomorrow. After that, they SAY that I am ready to work as a flight attendant. Let me tell you: I can keep you safe on a plane. But…I don’t yet know when to serve your drinks, I can’t reliably answer questions, and I haven’t yet operated an aircraft oven on my own. So…good luck to me! Sorry to all my passengers.
From my understanding, I’ll go, and I’ll figure it out. Over time, I’ll get better at it.
So, that’s my plan. Go. Be chill. Be kind. Do my best. Learn. Get better.
So what was yesterday like? Intense at times. My classmate and our evaluator boarded the aircraft much later than the crew because it took the customer service people a long time to get our tickets properly set up to sit in the jumpseats. This meant that while people were boarding, I had to try to dive between them to check my equipment. (Before the first flight of the day flight attendants have to make sure emergency equipment like fire extinguishers and personal oxygen are in proper working condition). I had to do my best to help passengers while making sure that I was reading announcements at the right time.
After boarding, things weren’t so stressful. I felt my waitressing experience from 15 years ago served me well (carrying trays, remembering drink orders, having people interrupt to make requests while I was in the middle of a task). The Flight Attendants we were working with were kind and helpful. The pilots were exceedingly nice. The passengers were kind as well.
I had a few mishaps: I began briefing the wrong rows for exit row procedures, and halfway through realized my error and then said, “You five back there, you can forget what I’m saying.” Then I had to finish the briefing and move forward one row to actually brief all the correct people. Someone didn’t like their beer so I attempted to poor it out in the garbage…only to suddenly feel splashing at my feet and realize that the trash bin had been removed from the compartment and I had essentially poured beer all over the floor.
Despite the minor mishaps, the day went smoothly, and the job was more fun and exceedingly less stressful than my hospital job. What a relief! (I realize that there will be challenging days as a flight attendant, but at my old job EVERY day was challenging for me once the pandemic hit).
Afterwards I found that I was physically EXHAUSTED. My legs hurt, my feet hurt, my back hurt, and I was very very tired. I’m not quite sure why. I only worked one day and now can rest. In the future I anticipate that often I’ll be working trips in which I have many flights with short (10 hour) rests in between. I’m a little worried that I’ll be falling apart at the end of a 4-day trip given the level of exhaustion that I experienced at the end of the day yesterday. I was wearing 3 inch heals yesterday (they’re the only uniform compliant shoes that I have right now, but I will have several more comfortable pairs in a week or so). My hope is that most of the pain and exhaustion was because of the shoes. But, we will see.
Right now, I’m a bit apprehensive about the job, and admittedly, apprehensive about finances. I made this change in a bid for happiness. My old job made me a lot of money, but also made me very unhappy. This new one is making me very little money, and I hope that it will make me happy, but I’m nervous that it won’t. Time will tell!
For now, I’m grateful for where I’m at. This change is welcome and appreciated.
*all opinions are my own
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Almost There!
It’s almost here! I’m *almost* a flight attendant.
I attended 4 weeks of class for 9 hours a day. The experience can best be described as grueling. I’ve always done well in a classroom environment, so I didn’t think I would struggle. But…I’ve never been in a classroom like this before! I’m a critical thinker, a challenger, and I learn a LOT through discussion. Most teachers/professors love students like me who will engage and talk and debate. Such behavior was not encouraged in flight attendant training. We were (for the most part) expected to sit still and be quiet.
Y’all. I don’t even like MOVIES because I hate sitting still and being quiet. You can imagine how painful this odd classroom environment was for me.
Quite simply: I was uncomfortable for most of the training. Sometimes we got to do cool stuff like practice skills on airplane mock-ups. Those times were my favorite. But most of the time, I just felt uncomfortable sitting there, taking notes, paying attention, keeping quiet.
I would NEVER do it again. I diligently masked for all but the last 2 days of class because there was NO WAY I would have returned to training if I had to go home because I was sick.
Training was hyper-focused on what the FAA requires us to learn. That means that I still know very little about the logistics of the job that I’ll do every day. I don’t know where I’ll park. I don’t know when health insurance starts. I don’t know how to set up a beverage cart. (I do, however, know how to handle an emergency, which is the whole point of training). Buuuuut…with all the discomfort of sitting still and being quiet for hours on end, and minimal information about what to expect on a day-to-day basis, I think I started to wonder if it would all be worth it.
Finally, on the last day of class we got to meet with the union and they got to teach us a little about how to create the schedule we want. And…the dreaming began again. I’m not required to work at all in May with the exception of 2 more days of training things this coming week. So…I CAN pick up some work trips if I want to. I started looking at what might be available. There are 24 hour layovers in Hawaii available for dates that will work for me.
And now…I AM SO EXCITED. Yes. This is why I did this. It is so exciting to realize that I’m CHOOSING to pick up work when I don’t have to work because work looks fun!
Let the fun begin!
On the bus back to our hotel after our last day of training. -
What do you DO at Flight Attendant Training?
When people think of flight attendants, they usually think about them passing out snacks and Vanna-White-ing seatbelt use.
I understand why people are surprised that I’m in class 9 hours a day 6 days a week for 4+ weeks to become a flight attendant. What could be so complicated about pouring soda and pointing to exit signs while smiling?
Well…have you ever heard about how flying in a plane is safer than riding in a car?
You see, it’s true, but that’s because the FAA and airlines have put a lot of work into making planes very safe.
On a good day, my job will be being nice to people and giving them snacks. On a not so good day, it will be about saving lives.
Think about it. In regular life if you see someone being assaulted, what do you do? You call 9-1-1! Or if someone suddenly loses consciousness? 9-1-1 again! What about a fire! Yes! 9-1-1.
At this point in time, ambulances do NOT fly to aircraft to help. While on the ground we have first responders to help in emergencies, up in the air, we have…flight attendants! Our job is to keep passengers safe and that means that we have to be ready to fight fires, give CPR, stop dangerous people, and be ready to evacuate the plane efficiently if something goes wrong. In addition to learning HOW to do these things, we have to learn WHERE to find the emergency equipment on many different aircraft types (each aircraft type has items in different spots…it’s super fun).
So, while I’ll love having fun with passengers and making sure they get snacks and sodas, I’m spending my time here learning how to save lives, check the aircraft for emergency equipment, and communicate appropriately and efficiently with my crew. We will have ONE day of training focused on how to prepare food and serve it. The other 23 days are focused on safety training.
Here’s a picture from today. I named my CPR dummy “Ken” because he has cool plastic hair. (Most of the dummies are bald, so he was very special).
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The Fascinating Process of Becoming a Flight Attendant
I thought it might be interesting to hear a bit more about how things generally go when it comes to being a flight attendant in the United States. Today I’ll share a little bit about how becoming a flight attendant generally works. It is pretty surprising!
Step 1: Apply.
Yes, I know this seems obvious. But, the application process is actually a bit complicated. First of all, the most desirable airlines typically only open up applications a few times per year. If you know that you want to be a flight attendant, it’s best to watch for openings. One of the best places to check which airlines are hiring is at Abbie Unger’s website. Once the applications are open, they’re often open for 1-7 days, so it’s best to apply right away.
Resumes/applications are reviewed via a computer system, so it’s important to doctor up your resume to align with the airline’s goals. This will probably mean emphasizing ways that you’ve worked to keep people safe in previous jobs, and emphasizing customer service in previous jobs. It also means learning airlines values and adding words related to their values to your resume.
Another thing that can be confusing to people is that in most cases you don’t apply to a specific airport. You apply to an airline and they will assign you to an airport during training. That means you’ll either have to move to base, or you’ll have to fly into your base to complete your work (which can cause a whole host of difficulties). You CAN look at airlines that have bases where you’d like to be, and you will be able to transfer to your preferred base as you gain seniority, but depending on the airline and the base you want, the transfer process could take from a month to years. YEARS. (Side note: I am starting training next week at an airline that does have a base at my local airport. It is highly likely that I will get based here, but it is not a guarantee. I don’t actually know for sure where I’ll be based yet!)
Step 2: Complete an Assessment.
At most airlines if your resume “passes” the computer system they’ll send you an online assessment. These assessments can range from asking about your personality to asking about what you’d do in certain customer service situations to asking you about your opinion on things. (Fun Fact: I was swiftly REJECTED from a major airline after completing an assessment! I was surprised because the assessment portion of the application process was the part I least thought would get me rejected!)
Step 3: Video Interviews.
Okay, virtual interviews can vary widely. Sometimes they’re individual live interviews with a recruiter. Sometimes they’re group live interviews with a recruiter. Sometimes they’re actually just questions popping up on your screen and you have to respond as if there’s someone there whom you’re talking to, when no one is there listening; you just record your answer and send it in! I applied to 4 airlines and completed 2 video interviews. One airline rejected me before I got to the video interview, another airline invited me straightaway to Step #4, and two airlines had me complete video interviews. One was a group interview in which I got to talk for a total 120 seconds. The other was the recorded video interview in which no one was there and I was just talking to a screen. I actually really liked the video interview in which no one was there! Because of the pandemic I’ve been forced to talk on video a LOT. In real life it’s hard to balance looking at the other person so you can see them and their facial expressions with looking at the camera so they feel seen. For a pre-recorded video interview with no-one I was able to look straight at the camera and because of all my experience on camera, I felt confident and collected. Most people HATE these pre-recorded interviews, but I thought it was great! (Note: For some regional airlines, a video or phone interview is the last step before a job offer).
Step 4: Face-to-Face Interviews.
This is in many ways the “standard” job interview that many are used to, except it takes place in a group setting in which you’re interviewing with a whole bunch of other flight attendant hopefuls. For an extrovert like me, it’s pretty much a dream come true and I had a great time meeting other candidates!
Step 5: Conditional Job Offer.
If the airline likes you after Steps 1-4, they’ll give you a Conditional Job Offer. What’s conditional about it? Well, you have to pass a background check, you have to pass a drug test, you may have to pass a physical exam, and you definitely have to pass training. (Training is reviewed below in Step #6). That’s right y’all. I’ve told everyone I’ve been hired as a flight attendant, but the reality is that I only have a conditional job offer. I still have a ways to go before I’m actually officially hired.
Step 6: Flight Attendant Training.
Every airline in the US requires that flight attendants attend and pass a 4-8 week intense training program that is approved by the F.A.A. Apparently it’s pretty intense. In most cases, it’s unpaid. In my case, I’ll be staying at a hotel for 4 weeks and attending class every day from 5:30am-2:30pm (I lucked out, some people have to do 3pm-12am). In the afternoons, when training is “finished” for the day, I’ll have homework and studying to do. There will be many tests during these 4 weeks and I will be required to pass all of them at 80% or better (some airlines it’s 90% or better). I’m allowed to fail and re-take one test, but if I fail a second test, I’ll be immediately sent home. I’ll be sent home if I’m late for any meetings during training. I’ll be sent home if I break any rules. I’ll be sent home if the trainers have any concerns about my ability to complete the job. Essentially, I have 4 weeks to prove how responsible and reliable I am and to prove how good I am at following directions. (I am mildly nervous about this, but I also know that I am genuinely reliable and good at following directions). Part of training will also include me going on a flight and proving that I can do all the skills that we learned in class. I’ll also get to do cool stuff like slide down the rescue slide and get on a life raft. I suspect that training will be fun but stressful!
It is also during training that flight attendant trainees find out where they’ll be based once training is complete. Yes, that’s right. You quit a job, start unpaid training that lasts at least one month, and only after you’ve committed and begun training do you find out where exactly you’ll be working. This is the flight attendant world!
Step 7: Probation.
Following training, airlines typically have 6 months of probation in which their flight attendants must perfectly follow rules, be on time, etc. If you mess up during probation, it’s very easy for the airline to fire you. I’m most worried about getting sick during probation, because calling in sick could get me in trouble annnnnnd we’re in the middle of a global pandemic. In Washington state the mask mandate has been lifted but I’ve been wearing my mask in indoor spaces away from home anyway because I don’t want to get sick and miss flight attendant training. I plan to continue to mask with a KN95 until my probation is complete.
And, that’s it! The crazy world of getting hired as a flight attendant. I can’t wait! Thanks so much to Saign for supporting me in this venture!
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The French Police
A little background context may help this story make sense:
I have this thing where I put effort into blending in when I travel. I pack clothes that will make me look less American. I learn how to say “please” and “thank you” in the local language. And…when traveling to Paris with a newborn, I read about breastfeeding norms in France. It was through this research that I learned that breastfeeding is NOT the norm in France. At all.
This made me very self conscious.
I suppose that in reality, I was self conscious enough about breastfeeding in public in general (pulling my boobs out in public was NOT my favorite thing), but learning that it was not particularly typical in France made me even MORE self conscious.
But the thing with newborns is that they eat every 1-2 hours, so unless I planned to stay within a short radius of my hotel, I was going to have to breastfeed in public.
As a solo woman traveler, there are times that I feel vulnerable. I do all the smart things. I never leave bags unattended. I wear my passport under my clothes. I walk with purpose and am careful to never look confused or lost. If I must look at my phone in public, I put my back up against a building while I do it so that no one sneaks up behind me.
Fun fact: Traveling with a newborn as a solo woman traveler makes the general “safety” things that women often do while traveling seem that much more vital. I was walking around alone with the most important thing to me strapped on my body in a city where I know no one. I felt vulnerable.
As I tell this story, keep the above information in mind: 1) I felt particularly self conscious breastfeeding in public in Paris. 2) I felt particularly vulnerable having my newborn with me as a solo woman traveler.
I was wandering around the 1st arrondissement in Paris with my 2-month-old when she needed to eat. I was standing across the street from the Louvre and trying to figure out where to stop to feed her. I wanted to sit down, but I didn’t want to sit on a park bench where a creep-o could approach me from behind when I had my breast out and my baby in front of me.
The courtyard around the Louvre seemed to be empty, so I figured it was closed that day (I think it’s usually closed one day per week). This seemed a great benefit to me, because I realized that I could sit on the stairs outside the Louvre and there weren’t many people around to see me or bother me.
I crossed the street and settled in on a step and began nursing L. I was alert and observing, feeling fairly vulnerable.
I noticed some young boys, maybe late teens, or maybe early twenties whispering to one another and gesturing towards me.
“Oh no,” I thought, bracing for them to come over and harass me.
Sure enough, one of them approached me. He said something to me in French.
I do not speak French.
“I don’t know what you’re saying!” I said to him in English in an irritated tone. (I have found that just being nasty towards creepers actually scares away more people than you might imagine, so this seemed like the right thing to do).
He said something to me in French, and then walked back to his friends. Seconds later, he returned with one of his friends. “Here we go again,” I thought.
“You speak English?” the friend asked.
I rolled my eyes, “Yes. What do you want?”
“Madame, we are the police,” he said. To prove this to me, he showed me a plastic band velcroed around his arm that said, “Police.”
In other words, he was showing me a piece of a crappy kids’ costume.
“I don’t care who you are!” I said, “Leave me alone!”
He looked perplexed. “Madame, we are the police. You cannot sit here right now. We have to clear this area.”
It was then that my brain put all the signs together. The Louvre courtyard was empty. Empty. The Louvre courtyard is never empty! Even with the Louvre is closed people love to go there and hang out and take pictures. These young men were not whispering about me from afar because they were planning how to harass me or rob me. The poor guys were trying to figure out how to approach the woman with her breast out sitting in an area that was supposed to be cleared because it was their job to get me out of there.
I.was.mortified.
“Oh!” I said. “Oh! I’m sorry!”
And I pulled my kid off my breast and covered myself up and gathered my things and ashamedly walked across the street where I fed my baby on a bench where people could certainly sneak up behind me. But…perhaps they’d choose not to since the police were right there, apparently watching.
Definitely one of my most embarrassing travel experiences.
In my defense: I still don’t understand why Parisian police would have cheap plastic armbands to prove their authenticity.
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The $100,000 Pay Cut
Ever since I began telling people that I’m leaving my career to become a flight attendant, people have been asking me, “Do flight attendants get paid well?”
The answer?
Nope…though it gets better.
The aviation world is incredibly seniority-based. If you put in a time with a company, the benefits and pay get better, but starting out, it’s a pretty terrible deal.
For me, it will be a $100,000 pay cut.
Telling people that freaks them out! (And as someone who is deeply passionate about finances, I actually understand why they get worried for me when I tell them about my career change. I get freaked out whenever anyone talks about car payments!)
At some point, I’ll write about why I think the pay cut will be worth it, but today I’ll write about how it is financially viable for me to take such a dramatic pay cut.
Financial Independence. In 2014 I discovered something called “financial independence.” Essentially financial independence is when someone’s investments and savings are high enough that they no longer have to work because they make enough money passively that work is no longer a necessity. On that fateful day back in 2014, I discovered this article by Mr Money Mustache that explained truly how simple the math is behind financial independence. I couldn’t believe it. It sounded so easy. I also couldn’t believe that anyone would hate their job so much that they’d want to live a life of deprivation to get out of their job. (Oh how the times have changed…) But reading this article got me intrigued. I decided that Saign and I could casually work towards financial independence. We wouldn’t sacrifice greatly; We’d just save as much as we could and try not to waste money.
And…so we did. Now, 8 years later, since we took the casual approach, we are NOT financially independent. But we ARE what is sometimes called “Coast FI” (e.g. “Coast financial independence”). This means that we have saved enough in our retirement accounts that we don’t really need to put anymore money into retirement savings if we want to retire at a traditional retirement age. The money we’ve already saved is invested so it will sit in our 401ks, IRAs, and HSAs and grow until we’re ready to use it. In other words: Because of the saving we’ve already done, we just have to worry about our here-and-now expenses; we don’t have to worry about saving for the future.
Financial Independence is the main reason that I am able to take a $100,000 pay cut. But there are a few other factors to consider:
Marriage. Saign makes enough money to cover our most of our expenses, so I really don’t have to make all that much money. Airlines tend to hire one of two types of people: Young people who can live with their parents and old people who have a spouse to support them. Yep, that’s how bad the pay is! But, I’m lucky to have the opportunity to allow my husband to become the primary bread-winner.
Minimal Debt. At some point, I’ll write my student loan story here; it certainly is a story worth telling! But for now, I’ll focus on the here-and-now: Right now, our only debt is our mortgage. (Remember how I told you that car payments give me anxiety? I wasn’t lying.) Being free of debt gives us the freedom to take a chance on a lower paying job.
Flexibility. I can take this financial risk because I can always change jobs if I need to. I can still go back to my old career if I want to in the future. If we figure out that being a flight attendant is not working out for our family, I still have the training and education needed to go right back to a 6 figure job if I ever desire to in the future.
So you see, THIS is why I’m a total personal finance nerd. Being thoughtful about finances can bring freedom! I’m so grateful for the freedom I have right now!
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The Kenya Trauma
Sometimes when I tell people our travel plans, they get a look in their eyes. A look of doubt or judgment or something that tells me that they think I’m bonkers.
Guys, I’ve been traveling internationally with my kid since she was 2 months old. I see the looks, and I just think, “Hmm…they sure are missing out!” When my kid was a newborn, I noticed the doubtful judgmental looks and they gave me pause. They led me to over-research. They led me to think I might be doing things wrong. But…after I successfully completed that trip, I realized something: I know myself and my kid, and traveling is one of the best things for us.
So, we travel, and we ignore the looks.
One of the destinations that led to the doubtful/judgmental looks was Kenya. Sometimes it wasn’t just looks. Sometimes people told me that going to Kenya sounded scary. To be honest, I couldn’t figure out what others were scared of. I planned to travel with guides when needed for safety, and I told Saign that under no circumstances would I be getting in a car in Kenya with him driving. I knew some would be worried about gaining medical care in a third world country, but this didn’t worry me. When it comes to adventures, I tend to think of things in the most dramatic terms, so in my mind either my kid would be fine or she’d be near death. If near death, I figured she’d get airlifted to Nairobi and get the medical care she needed, and all would be well. I didn’t think about the in-between. You know, medical needs that are in between no-need-for-medical-care and airlifted-because-we’re-saving-her-life. It was the in-between that happened one day while out on safari. Here is that story.
Because L was only 3 at the time, for a few hundred extra dollars we hired a private safari rather than going in a big group. That meant it was just us (Saign, L, and I) and our driver/tour guide. We figured that doing this would protect others from L’s potential whining or crying. So, off we went.
One day, we were in a rural town getting into the safari vehicle after eating lunch. Our guide flipped up a seat in the vehicle so that L could climb in. When she tried to climb in, she grabbed onto a bar on the bottom of the seat and essentially clipped the tip of her thumb halfway off as her thumb got stuck in the latch. At first I thought it was just bleeding, and I brought her into the restaurant to grab some napkins. While there, a waiter pointed out that I had left a long trail of blood behind us.
It was then that I realized that she was really hurt. I looked closer at her thumb and realized that I could kind of flip the tip of her thumb halfway off.
That did not seem good.
I rushed out to the vehicle and told our guide that we needed to go to a doctor immediately. Another tourist came by and told me she was a doctor and took a look. She told me that L would need to have stitches, and that she might lose her nail, but that she would be fine. I thanked her and asked her what kind of doctor she was. “A gynecologist.” She told me.
Our driver drove us to the clinic. It was literally across the street. I could have walked there. It was a building about the size of my living room and dining room combined (e.g. not big). There were no windows. I walked into the clinic and there was a small waiting room area, about the size of a large coat closet with a bench on each side. My kid was crying and we were both covered in blood, and I took a seat with the other patients.
Our guide followed us in and said something in swahili. The other patients waved him towards a door to our right, and he knocked on it. Someone came to the door, and he pointed at us and spoke to the person; then there was some sort of chatter between the guide and the other patients. Then our guide explained that the other waiting patients agreed to let us go in first.
There I was, a mzungu in a room full of Kenyans being given priority. I felt simultaneously like a jerk and like I absolutely needed to take priority as my child was the only one in the waiting room dripping blood. I am so grateful for all of the people for letting us in.
Soon enough, we were ushered through the door my guide had knocked on, to a somewhat long and cluttered room and then back to a small dirty exam room. We were directed onto an exam table and given a dirty blanket (for comfort I suppose, but it was hot, so I remember just sweating all over the place with that dirty blanket on my lap and my child on the blanket).
The doctor walked in, and I can’t really describe exactly what happened. I looked into her eyes and relief filled me. I trusted her.
The doctor explained that she would inject some sort of numbing agent into L’s thumb and then sew it back on; and I suppose that is what happened. But…it was not easy. A common thing I hear from the parents of my cancer patients is the guilt they feel as their kid shouts and screams in fear as they’re getting their port accessed. I didn’t really understand that guilt until that day. The blood curdling screams. My child shouting at me and begging, “Mommy, Mommy, she’s hurting me. Don’t let her hurt me!” While I held her still and sang to her and tried to calm her, but to no avail. It seemed like getting that thumb sewed back on took and excessive amount of time. The whole time I kept thinking, “We’re here because of me. This is why normal people don’t bring their children to third world countries.”
The doctor did a crap job sewing her thumb back on. It looked lopsided and terrible (and fun fact: It still does!) But still, I was grateful for the medical care. After sewing the thumb back on, she wrapped it in gauze. Then she got a bottle of antibiotics that had to be diluted with water. The water she got from a dispeser in the clinic; It was then that I realized that there was no running water in the clinic.
I asked her the cost of the care. It was $7. I think I gave her $50 and told her I hoped it would help other children. She told us to visit a doctor to examine the wound again in 3 days.
Oh, the trauma.
We got into the car and L continued to cry to the point that we took her out of her carseat (keep in mind, this is Kenya where a carseat is not the norm), and she fell asleep in Saign’s arms. She didn’t want to be near me; I assume because I was the one who held her down while the doctor traumatized her. After she fell asleep I suddenly realized: I was not sure if the doctor used a clean needle. Saign reassured me that she had taken the needle out of a new package, but then he reminded me that the conditions were not sterile. The needles were clean, but the syringe was placed into an open bottle of medicine, not injected through a stopper after the stopper had been cleaned like we would have done in the States.
I was terrified. Had I just exposed my child to a bloodborne pathogen?
I prayed. What else can you do in a circumstance like this? I couldn’t fix it. I could just give her her antibiotic and pray.
I googled care for wounds and stitches because we had been given minimal instruction by the doctor. That’s where I read that the bandage should be replaced every day. We stopped at a pharmacy to pick up supplies including painkillers and gauze and tape, but there was no non-stick gauze to be found. Y’all. I’m telling you, 4-5 pharmacies and no non-stick gauze. I usually travel with a first aid kit, but in this case had packed just a few bandages because I knew we’d be traveling with guides. Surely every tour company would require their vehicles to have first aid kits, right?
Y’all. Not in Kenya.
How foolish of me.
It ended up being a bit of a disaster. We first tried to take the gauze off the day after the injury. It was terrifying for us. L was screaming; it was obvious we’d rip the wound open if we pulled it off. Saign happened to look outside the window of the hut we were staying in while we were trying to re-dress the wound and he saw the gynecologist who was there at the original injury (their safari seemed to be following the same route as ours). I encouraged him to go ask her what to do. She was also married to a doctor. They looked at L’s thumb and advised us to just leave it alone. They told us the wound would scab and that then we could take the dressing off in a few days.
We thanked them and went with their plan. We left the bandage on until she returned to the doctor 3-days post-injury. Saign took L to that exam, so I don’t know exactly what happened. I think there was screaming and terror, and her thumb nail was pulled off. It was then covered with some gauze…you know, the sticky kind.
Oh, it was a disaster. You see, logic and google convinced us that we would need to clean the wound daily. But first, we had to figure out how to get the bandage off which was now essentially glued to her nailbed, since it had been placed on an open but healing wound. We did wait a day or two, because we were terrified. Ultimately, Saign called his aunt (an RN) who advised us to get some hydrogen peroxide. We were able to find that. We soaked L’s thumb for 20 minutes and it bubbled and bubbled and finally allowed us to remove the gauze without hysterical screaming.
Oh, but remember: Non-stick gauze was still not available in Kenya. Thankfully, I had packed some band-aids. I made it a nightly ritual to cut down two bandaids so that I could cover L’s nailbed with the non-stick gauze portion of the bandaid, and then wrap the sticky gauze around her thumb and hand to keep it all in place. We got saran wrap to wrap it in when we went to the beach.
She survived.
We survived.
Her thumb is still messed up. (It’s large and mildly lopsided and can’t fully straighten; It’s really pathetic when she tries to give a thumbs up).
This trip was L and Saign’s first time on safari and first time in Africa. There were many good, beautiful moments. I’m grateful for the time we had. But, I do finally understand why others are afraid to bring their children to 3rd world countries. Will I do it again in the future? Yes. But, not to Kenya. Kenya and I need a break from one another for the time being.
I now reliably bring a first aid kit with us whenever we travel.
Nothing like saran-wrapping your hand before going to the beach. 
The doctor who sewed L’s thumb back on and who brought me peace. -
Taking a Leap
When I work with teens who are around 18-years-old, they’re often stuck as they think about the future. They’re not sure what to do. They don’t want to pick the wrong college, the wrong major, or the wrong job. They seem to believe that there is some perfect right choice that will give them the life they want, and any other choice is wrong and will lead to a terrible life forever.
I always tell them the same thing: There is no right choice.
I believe that wholeheartedly.
There is no right choice.
Why? Because no decision can keep you stuck forever. If you go to a college and find it’s not right for you? Oh hey! You’re allowed to move on to another college! If you choose a major and then senior year realize you’re no longer interested in the field you thought that major would get you? Yep, you get to graduate anyway but find a way into the field you want, or switch majors your senior year and stay in college a bit longer. There is no right choice. There is no wrong choice
There are simply no rules in life (other than the simple things like treating others kindly). Pivot when you need. Change if you want to.
I’ve been able to preach this to these teens with conviction in particular for these past few years because I knew the truth for me: My career was no longer right for me. A pivot was needed. I had to wait a bit before I could quit because of my student loans. But…my time is now!
Two weeks ago I told my boss that I was quitting and that June 22nd would be my last day, or sooner if I found a job that required me to leave before then.
The next day I went to an interview and got a job offer. It’s a totally different field, a totally different world. A massive pay cut. But…I’m taking the leap. Because I know that no wrong decision can be made. I HOPE that I end up loving my new job and staying in it for many years (this is particularly important because in this particular job, the freedom and benefits get better and better with time). But…if I end up deciding it’s not for me, guess what? I’m allowed to change again! I don’t get just one chance at a job or a career. I get to try new things out any time I want!
So, here I am. Middle-aged and starting a new career.
I am.so.freaking.excited.
So what’s this new job?
I’m going to be a flight attendant!
See you in the skies. Let’s live that adventure life.
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Adventure Fam 