Let’s Talk About the French

Okay.

I feel this needs to be written.

Many, MANY Americans claim “the French are rude!” Or “They all speak English but won’t speak it to you!”

I was 20-years-old the first time I visited France. I only experienced kindness and hospitality and empathy from the French on that trip. I truly can’t remember ANYONE being unkind to me during that trip. I also recalled that very few people I interacted with spoke English, but they would try desperately to help us and bumble through our interactions with great kindness despite the language barrier.

I therefore, have always defended the French. I have always said, “Oh, no, I experienced a lot of kind French people trying to help and communicate with me even though I don’t speak French and they don’t speak English. I did not experience anyone being rude to me.”

Do you know what people often said to that? They’d say “Well, that’s YOUR experience!” (Often these people had NEVER been to France, so while, yes, my experience was limited to one 7-day experience at the time, that was still a whole lot more experience than the people basing their opinion of French people off of rumor).

Since that first visit at age 20, I had another week-long visit in 2016, and a total of 2 weeks in 2024, and now another week in 2025.

While there are many many people who have spent way more time in France than me, I do feel that after spending more than a month in the country, I can say with some authority: The French are NOT rude.

Now, I’m going to admit something here: I do make effort every time I travel to blend as much as I can. I speak more quietly (until I get angry; once I’m angry the American comes out and shocks and horrifies everyone around me…). I try to dress more in-line with how the locals dress. I learn the local customs and manners. In France this means that I start every conversation with “bonjour” and finish every conversation with “merci.” Do I say “hello” prior to ordering at a bakery in the US? Absolutely not! But it’s the custom in France, so it’s what I do.

So, is there a chance that I am treated with more respect and kindness by the French because of the effort I put into blending with their culture? It’s definitely possible. Buuut I’ve also had so many examples of French people going above and beyond to show me care and kindness that it just does not make any sense to me that people would claim that French people are rude.

I will admit, there are two things the French do pretty regularly that are completely rude to me as an American:

Smoking anywhere they want. Seriously. You’ll be standing 2 feet behind them in line and not only do they light up, they are very inconsiderate with how and where they blow their smoke. With smoking I have found that dirty looks often make a difference, and they will sometimes move a bit farther away or stop blowing their smoke directly at me if I glare at them.

Touching strangers in line. Most of the time waiting in line in France is okay, but every once in awhile they smash into me with their bodies while waiting in line, or if in a grocery store, they aggressively smash their shopping carts into me. When they do this, there is no apology and no recognition that touching strangers is generally uncouth. I found that glaring at people that do this seems to just encourage the behavior. They will rub up on you MORE if you dare to show displeasure with their behavior.

So I’m willing to concede: There are two “rude” behaviors that I do regularly encounter in France that I would love to encounter less.

Buuuuut that’s all I’ve got. Other than smoking and creepily-close-queuing, I have only ever encountered complete respect and kindness from French people. Not only that, I’ve repeatedly had French people go above and beyond to notice me and care for me.

Here are a few stories of kindness from our most recent trip:

We took a train from the CDG airport into the city center. I bought the proper train passes on my phone, and carefully swiped L through the turnstile at the CDG train station, and then swiped myself through the turnstile. We got off the train in the city and attempted to swipe our tickets to leave the station. I swiped L’s ticket, and she went through the turnstile. I swiped my ticket, and smashed into the barrier. The barrier didn’t open for me. I tried again. I tried again. I kept making sure I had the correct ticket, and swiping, and swiping, and no go. I looked around for someone to help. There were no train employees around to assist. I saw what looked like a counter off to the side, and showed it to L (who, again, was on the other side of the barrier). I told her I’d need to go speak to a worker over there. She was terrified and started crying (it was really far away, so I understand why she was scared). I then jumped the turnstile, which went okay, but it had a barrier on the other side of the turnstile, and when I made contact with that barrier, an alarm went off. Still no one came to help (or arrest me). I went back to swiping my ticket over and over, completely unsure of how to fix the problem, and unable to leave my 8-year-old child alone on the other side of the barrier in an unfamiliar place where she doesn’t speak the language.

And then…a lovely Parisienne approached and said something in French. I responded in English, showing her our tickets and explaining that they wouldn’t let us through. She swiped her ticket and motioned me through the barrier. She then snuck through the handicapped barrier with her friend’s ticket. It was such an unexpected and kind gesture. She did not know me. I was just a stupid American who failed to properly use the train system. I’m SURE the locals don’t love tourists. But she saw a human in distress and chose to go out of her way to help. It was such a kind gesture. (Days later I realized that neither my nor L’s tickets had been properly activated at the airport. I’m still unclear on how either of us got through the initial barrier at the airport, or how L got through the barrier at our final station, but the reason I couldn’t get through is because our tickets was never activated).

Story #2:

There are lockers at the train station at Disneyland Paris. On our last day at Disneyland Paris, L and I decided to use these lockers to simplify going to our airport hotel in the evening. The only problem with the lockers is that they only take coins (no cards), and while they do have change machines in the locker area, the change machines will only take up to 10 Euro notes. I had a 20 Euro note and a 5 Euro note, and I was able to sift through all my change to come up with just enough (7 Euro) for a medium-sized locker. I then spent a good 10 minutes wrestling with our luggage and playing Tetris, trying different methods to get all of our luggage to squeeze into the medium-sized locker. If I’d had more change, I would have just paid for a larger locker, but I didn’t have the three extra Euro in coins that I would have needed to do this. I eventually was able to wrestle all of our luggage into the medium locker. Success! I slammed the locker shut and retrieved our ticket for the locker. L and I walked out of the locker room…and I immediately realized that I had locked my phone in the locker.

I reentered the locker room, prepared to open my locker, take my phone out and all of our belongings out, lug all of our luggage back down into the main train station to buy a croissant or other item I didn’t want in order get enough change to return to the locker room and start the whole process all over again. I’d caused such a ruckus putting our luggage in in the first place, with repeated attempts to stack the items in different ways to make them fit, that the security guard immediately recognized me. In broken English, he asked me what I was doing. I explained that I’d locked my phone in my locker. He stopped me from entering my ticket into the machine to open the locker, and said, “No! You have to pay again!” He explained. He then asked me which locker was mine, and he opened it for me for free.

Does this seem like the act of someone who is rude? I made a dumb mistake. This man went out of his way to intervene to help and show me kindness despite the fact that the error was completely mine. He didn’t have to help. He chose to help.

There’s a whole lot of the globe left to explore, but when it comes to the places I’ve visited thus far, the French stand out as some of the most polite and considerate people I’ve ever encountered. The French are NOT rude.