Tips for Flying with a Toddler

Let’s just start off with defining a toddler as a little human between age 1 and age 3. Again, I’m no expert here, but between these defined ages, my kiddo hit 5 different continents, so I feel like I do have some helpful experience here.

1. Have a Movement Plan. Okay, this sounds weird. But you need to have a plan to get around the airport and to your seats on the plane with your toddler and all their junk. This plan should involve you being able to move them and all their stuff from point A to point B independently if possible. I hate strollers, but you may like them. If you choose a stroller, I beg of you: Don’t pile all your stuff in it and then make everyone wait behind you at airport security or at the aircraft door while you pull your snack cups and your blankets and your toys and your jackets and your life out of the stroller. Have that junk in a bag in the stroller if you want, but don’t have a bunch of individual items that you’re trying to frantically get together. Yes, I sound judgmental. I am judgmental about this. It’s rude to think others should wait while you attempt to get your life together. There are reasons that it might not be possible to keep your ish together (multiple toddlers with just one parent, a parent or a child with a disability, etc), but if there’s a 1:1 ratio of adults to children in your group, you should be able to get it together for the most part. What did this look like for me when traveling alone with a toddler? Backpack with clothes on one shoulder, carseat in backpack on the other shoulder, postal bag with the snacks/drinks on front, soft-sided infant carrier on the front over the postal bag, and my kiddo’s backpack with toys which I would make her wear unless I was carrying her. Does that sounds like a lot? Yeah. It IS a lot. That’s the joy of travel with a Toddler, baby!
2. CAR SEAT ON THE PLANE. Guess what your toddler is used to? Sitting in a carseat! Guess what they can’t escape from? The five point harness on their carseat! I loved the Cosco Scenara for our travel carseat when L was a toddler. It’s lightweight, safe, and kept her trapped comfortably in her seat. It’s also a nice headrest for the parent sitting next to it! Bring your (FAA approved) carseat on the plan. Please note: In the US, airlines are mandated by law to allow you to use your FAA-approved carseat on the plane. I don’t know about the laws in other countries, but I definitely had an airline in Spain refuse to allow us to take our carseat on a Boeing 737, because they claimed it was “too small.” I was annoyed, but not sure of my rights, so I let it go… Also be aware that carseats cannot block the egress of other passengers, so either must be in the window seat or the center of the row if you’re seated in a row with an aisle on each side.If you are going to a destination where you will be using public transit and therefore won’t need a carseat once you get to your destination, a CARES harness (which keeps the kids trapped in their seat) is a great tool! I’d choose their regular old carseat on the plane if you will use it at your destination, but I wouldn’t recommend bringing the carseat just for the plane!
3. Put Your Kid in Diapers. My kid was potty trained before age 2. But I still made her wear diapers on airplanes! Why? There are a lot of times when it’s not okay to get up and use the bathroom. Adults and older children can hold it. Toddlers cannot. I have a distinct memory of my toddler shouting, “Mommy! Poopy!” during take-off home from Australia. You can’t get up during take-off. I just kept reassuring her that she could stool in her diaper if she wanted to. (Thankfully she did not and held it until the seatbelt sign was off).
4. NEVER Go to the Bathroom Without Bringing your Kid. If the aisles are clear and you plan to use the restroom, bring your kid with and make them use it as well. You never know when the carts might be back out and blocking bathroom access, so it’s best to just bring the kid any time that you’re going.
5. Bring all the Snacks and Drinks. No explanation necessary. Bring food for your kid.
6. Bring Well-Thought-Out toys. Okay, so there’s this thing that a lot of domestic travelers recommend. It goes something like this. “I buy them a new toy for every hour we’re on the plane…” As someone who primarily travels internationally, this advice always cracks me up. My kiddo flew to Fiji as a toddler. Can you imagine me buying SIXTEEN toys for the flight there and SIXTEEN for the flight back? That’s right y’all! That’s 32 hours of flights which would mean 32 toys! Now, we did (and still do) bring toys, but since my goal is to have a plan to move independently through the airport, I can’t bring a new toy for every hour we fly. Our typical flying toys were Wikki Stix, a re-stickable sticker book, a coloring book and crayons, a Polly Pocket, and a Kindle. That’s it.
7. Don’t Forget Screens/Headphones. I am suuuuuuuper strict about screens generally, but on an aircraft, I don’t want my kid bugging anyone else, so she gets screens. Also, since I’m generally stingy about screens, they will keep my kid pretty well entertained. We’d do a Kindle with some kid apps, as well as the movies the plane offers. I will admit that the younger they are, the less helpful screens are, but they can keep them occupied for a bit. But you MUST bring them headphones; the other passengers don’t want to hear your kid’s games/apps, and most airlines require headphone use.
8. Think about Their Ears. Small ears having a harder time popping for ascent and descent. It can be quite painful for little kids to fly! You may want to consider medications like Benadryl, or bring along something for them to suck on (like a lollipop) to assist with ear-popping.
9. Talk Expectations Through with Them. Kids are much more likely to get upset and cry if things happen to them unexpectedly. Before you get on the plane, make sure your child knows the plane rules. They should know they’ll need to stay seated for most of the flight. They should know that they shouldn’t shout on the flight or kick the seat in front of them, etc. If we had a flight that went into sleeping time, I’d be careful to let L know, “You’ll get MoMo (her name for Elmo, which is mostly what she’d do on her Kindle) until dinner, but after we finish eating, it will be sleeping time, and Mommy will take MoMo away…” this meant she fussed and cried less when I took her Kindle, because she knew that it was coming.
10. Enforce Rules. I mean, this shouldn’t have to be said, but just in case: Your kid should not be disturbing those around them without you doing your best to stop them. You as the parent should have a plan to make sure rules are followed on the aircraft. We’d take away screens from L if she did inappropriate things like kicking the seat in front of her. When we went to Vietnam, L was really really into me, so we’d give her “time-outs” away from me if she was inappropriate. We were stuck in our seats, but we could make her sit with Dad (which she hated) if she was breaking the rules. Related: You the parent have to be prepared to follow the rules of the plane. As a flight attendant, I’ve been shocked by the number of toddler parents who don’t think their kid should have to be in their seatbelt for take-off and landing because they know their kid will scream or wake up. If they are 2 years + they MUST be in their own seat and belted in for take-off and landing. This is required by law, and the plane cannot take-off until you belt your kid in. But guess what is NOT required by law? Your kid being quiet. They can scream.
11. Give Yourself and your Child Grace. Obviously I sounded really judgey when I talked about having a plan to move yourself, your kid, and your stuff through the airport/aircraft. But generally? Traveling with toddlers is hard, so remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay for toddlers to occasionally cry and act like little hooligans. Just have a plan and do your best.